File your grievance.
Name the accused. Pick the charge. Be as petty as the situation requires.
Serious court. Ridiculous crimes.
For the friend who steals your fries.
The partner who’s “five minutes away.”
Somebody has to hold them accountable.
DUE PROCESS. UNDUE DRAMA.
No lawyers. No paperwork.
Just a judge with absolutely nowhere better to be.
Name the accused. Pick the charge. Be as petty as the situation requires.
Send their private link. They get to plead their case. It’s only fair. Mostly.
Receive a verdict, a very reasonable sentence, and something to send the group chat.
FROM THE IMAGINARY CASE FILES
Some offenses don’t break the law.
They just really test the friendship.